Two Years Later

Life is good!

I have passed the two year anniversary of my surgery and recently had my 2-year post-op appointment with my surgeon. I weighed the EXACT same amount as I did at my 1 year checkup. Which means I haven't gained one pound back in this past year.

My doctor fist-bumped me. :)

He said that's really rare because usually in that 2nd year there is a slight weight gain back as you adjust to being able to eat a little bit more - often 10 -15 lbs, which is usually okay as the patient is still a hell of a lot healthier than they were prior to surgery. But I was very pleased to have stayed at the same weight. I think the fact that I live in fear of gaining any weight, and I weigh myself weekly, has helped that.

I have leveled out at a size 4, sometimes a 2 depending on the brand/store. I wear a small or x-small top. I've always loved fashion, but being able to wear many different styles is one of my greatest joys. Hell, I couldn't even wear PANTS before my surgery.

I often think about how I'd like to help other post-op patients learn how to dress for their new bodies - I see so many of them in the doctor's office and they are still wearing the big loose mu-muu type clothing, which does nothing for their figures or to make them feel better about themselves. Most of these women have been heavy their whole lives so that's the only way they've ever dressed and they don't know any differently.

I feel really healthy - for the past two years since my surgery Rudy and I have been going to the beach every weekend, and I started out doing long walks on the beach, then faster walking, and for the past year or so I've been running on the beach every weekend. I don't go fast, and I only run/walk a few miles, but I'm out there doing it, and I love it.

I do wish I could make myself go back to the gym - I belong to Planet Fitness (world's best gym - non-intimidating, great people, only $10/month and no contracts!!) but haven't been in months. I do push-ups (the boy kind :)) every night before bed, which has kept my arms and shoulders in shape, but I do need to work out more. It'll happen. Probably. Maybe.

Just being able to be active again is amazing - actually WANTING to walk places, enjoying the outdoors, kayaking with Rudy, riding our bikes everywhere when we go on vacation...things others might have taken for granted but that were completely out of the question for me before.

Something I've found very interesting - and I would like to write more on this at some point - is people's reactions to slender people vs. heavy people. It's women, men, kids, professional colleagues, store clerks, restaurant servers, everyone. It's human nature, but it's also very sad.

I like this new show on FOX called "More to Love", which is produced much like the Bachelor, but with a big guy (he's 6'3", 330 lbs.) and heavy women (which apparently he's very attracted to). The women are all pretty attractive, just big girls. The one thing that makes me crazy is that they put the height and weight of each girl addressing the camera on the screen. They don't do that with the Bachelor contestants!! We get it - she's a heavy girl - do we need to further humiliate her by putting her 5'8", 239 lb. stats out there for the world to see?? Rudy hates this concept because he says these girls are going to be even more devastated than the girls on the Bachelor because many of them have been rejected by men for much of their life (as they are constantly saying to the camera) and now they are going to get their hopes up that they have a chance with this great guy and then be crushed. He's probably right, but I'm already hooked.

I'm so sensitive to the challenges of heavy people - the other day I saw a woman be seated at a booth in a restaurant and it was too tight for her - the table was pressing into her stomach - and she asked to be moved to a table. God, did that bring back memories of going into a restaurant and having to eyeball whether I could fit in a booth or if I needed to casually suggest a table. I felt so much for her that I got tears in my eyes. Or maybe I was feeling for the old me...

I've gotten to the point where people who meet me now have never seen me as a heavy person, so it's assumed that I've always been this size. I'm not one to hide it, so if weight naturally comes up in conversation (like I'm with a woman at lunch and she's saying that she's trying to diet) then I will share. But I do feel like this is who I am now, and I can't even remember being in that 300 lb. woman's shoes.

But I do know this - I am the same person as I was then - same sassy attitude, same sense of humor, same intelligence, same business savvy, same people skills. I'm just healthier and I look better in my clothes.

So there.

:)

Checking in!

Hola everyone!
I can't believe it's been 10 months since I wrote anything on this blog. I clearly don't have what it takes to be a world class blogger.

I want to update everyone on where I am now. I have lost a total of close to 175 lbs. When I decided to have the surgery I was at 301. Right before the surgery I weighed 287 because I lost some pre-surgery.

I'm now safely fluctuating between 126 and 131! I stopped losing weight probably 5 months ago, and I was actually glad because I don't want to lose any more. Since then, in the past 4-5 months, I have been right in that range. I wear a size 2 or 4, depending on the store, and either a small or X-small. I feel amazing and healthy and 100 years younger.

I had mentioned in previous posts that Rudy and I go to the beach every single weekend, even in the winter, and he always ran and I walked. When my walks increased to about 4 miles and I wasn't feeling the cardio from it that I used to, I decided to start jogging. At first I didn't tell Rudy about it because I knew he'd get all excited and rush out and buy me running shoes, sign me up for a marathon, etc. So after I'd been doing it for a couple of months I told him. I actually can't run that far - the longest I've run straight is 1 mile - but usually I like to run 1/2 mile, then walk 1/2 mile, then run 1/2 mile, etc.... I've heard that intermittent stuff is good and it breaks it up for me. Keep in mind I'm doing this barefoot on the beach. I have never actually run in shoes!

I've taken a couple of yoga classes and would like to keep that up but I'm bad about making the 6pm class on time after work. I bought weights at home and I do the core strengthening when I'm watching TV. Also do push-ups and scrunches.

Basically I'm more active than I've ever been - even in my teens - and it does feel good. I need to do more weights because my arms/shoulders area is pretty scrawny looking and on a mid-40's woman that's not such a great look.

It's so wonderful to feel attractive and sexy again. I love fashion and trying out different styles and looks and seeing how they work with my new body. That's become almost a hobby to me.
I would also love to show other women who have had this surgery how to dress with their new bodies.

It's funny - every now and then I forget and I think I still have my 300 lb. body. One day not too long ago I was in a crowded restaurant at lunch with a girl from work. She's really thin, and she was walking in front of me and slipped through an area where the tables and chairs were really close together. My first reaction as I followed her was "ooh, I can't fit through there - I better go around!" ... but then I remembered that I could totally fit through there. But for a moment there I was back in the 300 lb. body. Very strange.

So ... now my goal is not to gain any back. The doctors say that at the end of 2 years it's common to gain back 10-15 lbs. I wouldn't be devastated, but I would prefer not to. I feel really comfortable at this weight and I don't want it to change. But I CAN tell that I can eat more now and I have to stay very cognizant of that. And keeping up with the exercise .

The key thing that my surgeon told me is that between 12-18 months your body slowly starts absorbing more calories when you eat. For the first year, you don't absorb all of the calories that you take in. But now ... they're absorbing, baby! Uh oh.

This is truly the best thing I've ever done for myself. If ANYONE is considering this surgery and wants to talk, please post a comment and I'll respond. I am like a missionary for this surgery now. When I see really overweight people now, I really want to help them. But I understand people have to do this when they are ready.

The wife of a man I used to work with read my blog, looked into the surgery, and now she's about 6 weeks post-surgery and has lost somewhere around 40 lbs. The fact that just one person who knew my success, read this blog, and took action to change their life is the whole reason I wrote this.

As I write this, another woman that I used to work with has the surgery scheduled. I'm ecstatic for her. Go Marta. Go Daisy. I'm so happy for both of you.

The End of an Exciting Year!

Hi guys!

So we've all weathered the holidays ... hope yours was great. I had a wonderful Christmas because my mother, who is in a nursing home and has been bed ridden for many years and hasn't been able to join us for the holidays, was with us at my house this year. The Orange County Fire & Rescue department had a special program called "Home for the Holidays" in which they will transport - at no cost - your loved one from their nursing home to your home for Christmas. My mom is such a happy little spirit and we all loved having her with us. So that made it really special.

Plus, I got a new bike! In one of my earliest posts, I listed some of the things I wanted to do when I lost weight, and riding a bike was one of those. Rudy surprised me with a beach cruiser bike, and we took it to the beach this weekend and I rode it on the beach - so fun! My legs were a little sore from riding it on the sand, and I definitely got more cardio action from it then my walks I take every week. I fell back in love with bike-riding (not to be confused with "cycling", which I have no interest in - the serious helmet-bike shorts-pedaling fast for miles and miles type of cycling) when Rudy and I were vacationing in Key West for my birthday in December. Instead of driving around, we rented bikes and rode all over the island the whole time - it was awesome!

Wow ... what a year for me. It's been over 2 months since I last wrote, and I've continued to make progress with the weight loss and feel better than ever.

Let's do a new update, at 9 months post-surgery:

Original pounds to lose: 150 lbs.

Pounds lost so far: 125 lbs.

Pounds left to lose: 25 lbs.

And another update:

Starting size - pants: 26W

Current size - pants: 12

Starting size - tops: 22

Current size - tops: Small or size 8

This has really been an amazing journey and it will obviously continue. I look forward to seeing what the new year will bring. So, in looking back at the year, following are the things that spring to mind that I miss from my "previous life" and things that I LOVE in my new life:

Things I miss:

• Having a piece of toast or a bagel with a hot cup of coffee
• The sound of pouring a nice fizzy Diet Coke over ice and enjoying that little tingly taste
• Having a beer with friends after work or on the weekends with pizza or wings
• Being able to indulge my sweet tooth every now and then (remember, NO sugar for me anymore!)
• Lingering over a nice dinner at a restaurant with a good cup of coffee
• Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Being able to pig out on special occasions like Thanksgiving

But, more importantly, things I love now:

• Riding a bike
• Crossing my legs (yes, it's the simple things!)
• Being able to walk and talk without getting winded
• Wearing cute jeans
• Being comfortable sitting in seats, like at the arena, the movies, Bob Carr, etc.
• Actually wanting to walk around places
• Not having to ask for the seat-belt extender on an airplane
• Not having to worry about how tight a booth will be at a restaurant
• Not having claustrophobia rule where I stand, sit, etc.
• Tucking in shirts
• Walking by (instead of walking into!) Lane Bryant in a mall

There are so many other things, but I love having the feeling back of being attractive and confident. This is truly the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Oh, and one New Year's Resolution: Write in my blog weekly. :)

Milestones

SO sorry I haven't written in so long. Since my last post, I've reached a few milestones!

1) I passed the 100 lbs. lost biggie.


2) I just bought my first size 8 item.


Remember that my goal is to just be a size 8 ... not a certain weight, but a size. But before we celebrate too much, let's note that the size 8 item was a very cute denim Michael Kors jacket, NOT pants. As exciting as it was (and trust me, I was lovingly stroking the size 8 tag, and I'm considering "accidentally" wearing it inside out so the size shows), my real goal is to be able to wear size 8 pants. And it'll be a while for that.

I am now safely into size 14 pants, though. I absolutely can no longer shop in Lane Bryant or The Avenue for anything. Their smallest size, their tightest skinny jeans, now swim on me.

And THAT is exciting.

Ah, the joys of being able to go into your basic Ross or T.J. Maxx and browse through the "normal" sizes and find treasures galore. I'm still Cheapy McCheap when I buy stuff. For example, the aforementioned, much beloved Michael Kors jacket was from Burlington Coat Factory. Retail price tag: $149.50 Burlington price: $29.99 :)

I even bought a size 12 skirt at Kohls recently. It's so freakin' awesome to try something on and actually LIKE what I look like in the mirror.

Lately a couple of people have said to me that they assumed I didn't have much more to lose. As if. But one woman said that I only looked like I could lose about another 20 lbs. Now, I easily could lose another 40 or 50 and still look good (according to the charts, I could lose much more than that, but who goes by those hated charts any more??) but for someone to say that I don't LOOK like I could lose that much, that's a beautiful thing. The fact that I'm down to the point where people don't think I need to lose any more than 20 lbs .... wow.

I have one girlfriend who I actually confide my weight in. We had dinner the other night and she asked me what I weighed now. I told her -- and she said "You don't look like you weigh anywhere near that much." I've always weighed more than I look like I weigh, mostly because lots of it is in my thighs, which I can hide well with clothing.

But the reality is that I know what I weigh, and I know where I need to be to be truly healthy, and I'll get there.

I'm wondering when you stop losing. Does your body just know when it's at its optimum weight?
Okay, the stats:

Original lbs. to lose: 140 (although I'm thinking of revising this to 150)
Lbs. lost so far: 102
Lbs. left to lose: 38

Original size: 26 pants, 22 tops
Current size: 14 pants, Medium tops

Plus that 15 lbs. between January and the April surgery, so really 117 total!

No real issues with eating. Now that I've passed the 6 month mark, I can ease some starches back into my diet, but I'm not rushing out to do that. I still need to get enough protein in, and eating even the tiniest bit of rice, for example, fills me up too much and I can't eat the shrimp or beef or whatever I have with it. So a bite or two is it.

I need to try chicken again and see if I can digest it okay. Just don't wanna try it in public. :)

By the way, my 6 month check-up went well. I had to get blood work done the week before so they could make sure my levels of everything were fine, and the doctor said they were perfect. My cholesterol, my iron, everything was great. And oh, get a load of this. My initial BMI (body mass index) was 55.1. It is now 37.3. 30 is within the okay/normal range.

As far as how I feel, I've felt fantastic EXCEPT for some major constipation issues, which I will do you a favor and not share with you. :)

More soon, I promise!

No Longer the Queen of Craigslist?

New pic in front of our new townhouse. Rudy took this yesterday when we got back from the beach!

I'm noticing something interesting which, as I was telling Rudy, is indicative of how challenging and expensive it is for plus-size women to find cute stylish clothing.... Remember how I mentioned that I was posting lots of my clothes on www.craigslist.com as I was going down each size? The first was a lot of size 22-26's, then more 22's, then 20/22's, then 18/20's, etc. Now I'm down to 14's in pants (with the exception of some stores where I need a 16) and L's or M's in tops. (Exciting!)

So when I was posting lots of these clothes (not "lots" as in "gobs", but "lots" as in a bagful), minutes after I would post it I would get 4 or 5 emails saying they want to take the clothes. Over the next few days there would be probably 15-20 women calling and asking if I still had the clothes. I would literally have waiting lists - women I told I would call back when I had the next lot of size 18/20's, for example. I was indeed, as my subject line says, the Queen of Plus Size on Craigslist. Women loved my clothes because they were stylish and current and in good shape.

So a few days ago I posted one lot of size XL's and another lot of size L's. And holy crap... first of all, I only got 4 replies total. Secondly, they were asking all these questions ... "What material is the skirt made of?" "Can I buy individual pieces from the lot if I don't want them all?" "How much are you asking for just the red baby doll top?" "I live really far away - can you meet me halfway?"

Jeez.

So these "regular size" women are picky little bee-yotches. The plus-size women were just so grateful to have a way to buy cute clothes inexpensively ... but now I'm serving a whole difference audience, and they are pissing me off. :)

But this does say something about plus-size clothing. Mr. Clothing Manufacturer, make them more stylish. Make them easier to find. And most of all, make them cheaper! There is a real opportunity to serve this market - the younger woman who may be heavy but really cares about how she dresses and presents herself. And we're not going to find those clothes at Catherine's, for God sakes.

Some stores and designers are getting it. Sarah Jessica Parker, who I've already praised in a previous post, has her Bitten line (all items are priced under $20) and the sizes goes up to 20. Another great store for plus sizes is Marianne, which is divided literally in half - go to the right and you are in plus sizes and go to the left and it's sizes up to 14. And they have the same styles in both sizes. The prices are right, too. Check it out - www.mariannestores.com
They say that they are "stylish clothes for the Latina woman", and the flagship store was in San Juan, Puerto Rico. So good to know that the Latin culture recognizes that women with some meat on their bones want to dress well too.

Sure, some designers like Dana Buchman and Ellen Tracy are making plus size clothing. But if you look at what they make - A) it looks like a age 50+ woman would wear most of it and B) it's ridiculously expensive - MORE expensive than her regular line. A Dana Buchman nylon top? List price $195. A Dana Buchman "Boho vibe silk skirt"? $315 Her denim jacket? $400.

Do you know many (or ANY?) women who regularly pay those prices for clothes? If you do, then you travel in a different crowd than I do. (And if you do, can we hang out sometime?)

So I say You go, Ms. Sarah Jessica Parker! Go, Old Navy! Go, Target! Go, Marianne! Even Lane Bryant ... keep putting out plus size clothing that women who were born after Nixon resigned can actually wear.

Okee dokee, new update!

Original pounds to lose: 140
Pounds lost so far: 87
Pounds left to lose: 53

AND ... this is super exciting ... remember how I had lost 15 lbs. a few months before the surgery? So that means that I've now lost over 100 pounds in all- 102 to be exact!!!

Go, me! :)

Strangers are noticing?!

These pictures are from Danny's 18th birthday party. I like them - it was nice to not try and hide from the camera or place myself behind someone to hide some of my body. The first pic is me with my two handsome sons, Danny, the reluctant birthday boy (he hates being the center of attention), Tony and his longtime, wonderful girlfriend (and hopefully my future daughter-in-law), Melanie. The second one - and I'm guessing you can probably figure this out - is Tony, Melanie, Rudy and me.

So now it's Sunday night, we just got back from St. Pete Beach, Rudy fell asleep on the couch watching some boring thing on History Channel, Rocco is curled up with him, and I'm exhausted.

Two weekends in a row Rudy has gotten tickets to a baseball game for one of his teams - The San Francisco Giants and the Oakland A's. Last weekend we spent in West Palm Beach and saw a game at the Dolphin's Stadium in Miami and this weekend he had tickets to a game at Tropicana Field, which is in St. Pete. They unspoken deal we have is that if I have to go to a baseball game, then I also get to go to the beach. We've had a lot of fun. But it is tiring going out of town two weekends in a row.

Today, sitting at the Hurricane Grill on Pass-A-Grille beach (which is an awesome little place, just past the Don Cesar Hotel on the end of St. Pete Beach) and eating my peel-and-eat shrimp (they were delish!) I looked over at a guy eating and I told Rudy that there are a few visuals related to food that I think of wistfully and still kind of make my mouth water.

One: a person picking up a french fry (preferably crinkle cut - my favorite) and dipping it into ketchup and putting it in their mouth.

Two: A person cutting a corner slice of cake with lots of sickening sweet bakery frosting and sticking their fork into it to take a bite

Three: This is a visual and a sound - a person opening a can of Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper and pouring it into a frosty glass with ice ... the way the ice crackles and you can hear and see the sizzle of the carbonation in the glass.

Honestly, it's not like I constantly am thinking about food, or feel sorry for myself that I can't have these things, or really obsess about it at all. I like the food I'm eating, and I'm very satisfied. But those things I will probably never eat/drink again (well, I might have a fry or two after I can have carbs again), so the visual does kind of get to me.

The other day in The Avenue (a plus-size shop, for you average-sized readers who might not be familiar with it. :)) I had a cool experience. I needed new crop jeans because my size 20's were literally falling off of me - and when I say literally, I mean it - they fell down when I was walking through the living room! So I went to The Avenue and grabbed a few pairs of 18's. And tried them on. And they were all too big! So I went out and got the same pants in 16's. And - get this - THEY were pretty loose too! And I know that, if anything, I need to buy pants a little snug right now so they'll fit longer, so I thought - it can't be - could I really wear 14's??? So I gingerly went out and picked the 14's off the rack. And glory be -- they fit beautifully!! It's been about 10 years since I've worn 14's. I bought a pair of black crop pants and a pair of jeans.

At the register, the clerk asked me if I wanted to open an Avenue account. And I told her - well, actually, I had a gastric bypass, and as much as I like your store, I'm hoping I won't have to shop here much longer. She said "I THOUGHT you looked like you'd lost a lot of weight!" (I've been shopping there for a long time). So that started a whole conversation with her and the other clerk about the surgery (they were both big girls and had wondered about it). I told them that I was a size 26 before the surgery and now I am buying 14's in pants, and their shirts are all too big for me. Then a customer overheard us and she came over and said that she had also had the surgery about 3 months ago and she was down from a size 30 to a size 22. (Again, for you thin ones - that's 5 sizes smaller - 30, 28, 26, 24, 22). She was thrilled with how she felt and then we started talking about whether we'll have to have plastic surgery and how we were getting along and it turns out we got it done at the same place!

It's interesting how just mentioning this opens up conversations because big or small, people are fascinated with it. U.S. Bariatric gives all their patients this medical card to carry with you that has medical info for paramedics on one side and on the other side it says this:

SPECIAL DIET REQUEST The owner of this card has had weight loss surgery, which has reduced his/her stomach capacity to less than 3 ounces. Please allow him/her to order a smaller portion or make a selection from the children's menu. Thank you for your cooperation.

Cool, huh? I've only pulled it out a few times, but it has come in handy. Last weekend we went with our friends to a Japanese Steak House - you know, those places with the chef who does all the wacky stuff with the food, flipping it on to your plate and making corny jokes and building an onion volcano and stuff like that - anyway, they're pretty expensive, so I asked if I could get the children's shrimp dinner and bashfully showed them my card and they said sure.

I'm kinda skiddish to pull out the card because for some reason I feel a little strange about it, but so far it's been fine. I don't use it most of the time, though, because if you think about it, what foods are on the children's menu? Chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, hot dogs, burgers, pizza ... not exactly the healthiest of choices. But at a place like the Japanese steak house or a breakfast place where it's basically the same food, just smaller portions, then it's perfect.

One more cool encounter before I give you the update - Rudy and I go into this 7-11 almost every Sunday on our way to the beach, and I guess we hadn't been for awhile, so one Saturday I stopped in to pick something up. I was wearing (my new size 14) crop jeans and a close-fitting tank top. So the woman at the register (I know this sounds awful, but I don't even know that I've ever noticed her) said "Oooh, girl! How much weight have you lost?!?!?" I was like, wow, thanks for noticing, and she said how could she not notice - I looked like a different person, she hardly recognized me - and I gotta tell ya - that felt REALLY good.

REALLY good. :)

Okee dokee, here's the update at 20 weeks post-surgery:

Original pounds to lose: 140
Pounds lost so far: 83
Pounds left to lose: 57

I've had a couple of small plateaus lately - when I had lost 75 I plateaued for a while, then at 80 it did again. But now it seems to be on the move!

A New Milestone (and New Clothes!)

Howdy. I'm doing great! I am now at 16 weeks post-op, and I've reached a really cool milestone. I've now hit the mid-way point ... I've lost the same amount of weight that I have left to lose.

Here's my new update:

Original pounds to lose: 140

Pounds lost so far: 70

Pounds left to lose: 70

Cool, huh??

On my last doctor's appt., I had two things that I needed to work on. More fluids, and being more vigilant about having dairy twice a day. And I've really stepped it up since then on both counts. The fluids thing is really about remembering to have something to drink with me at all times. Like right now I just finished my iced tea, and I have a water in the fridge, but I need to get up and go get it. Plus I have to pee really badly, so the water doesn't seem that tempting right now.

The dairy isn't that hard - I really love milk (it has to be skim, but it's easy to get used to skim milk if you drink it enough) so I've been pouring myself a glass as soon as I get home and I take my vitamins with the milk. There's only two things that count as dairy in U.S. Bariatric World - yogurt and skim milk. And I get sick of yogurt really easily. But I can do the milk, so I've been concentrating on that more. Apparently calcium is super important to weight loss. Guess all those "Got Milk" commercials saying that is not just a bunch of crap.

Hmm, haven't checked out the Walmart fashion lately - maybe I should stop by there on my way home from the office tonight. :)

Hey, I found another really cool cheap source of clothes! And you would ALL love this! Sarah Jessica Parker has a new line of clothes out called Bitten SJP, and everything in the line is under $20!! It's sold exclusively at Steve and Barry's, and luckily they have one in Orlando, but if you're somewhere they don't have a Steve and Barry's you can find a lot of the line on eBay. OMG, the stuff is adorable. Most tops are $9.98 or $12.98 ... jewelry is $5.98 ... sunglasses are 9.98, purses are $9.98 ... even dresses and really cute denim jackets are $20 or under. You MUST check it out. I was in heaven wandering around the store on Friday night, and bought like 7 or 8 items and the total was around $70. Plus Rudy was with me and he was happy because Steve and Barry's has a lot of college t-shirts and athletic wear for guys, so they're kept occupied and out of your hair. :) Here's the site: http://www.bittensjp.com/ I bought the dress and top in these pics, except I bought the top in purple.

And the other cool thing was that even though the sizes go up to XXL and even size 20, I bought all XL's and L's. However, since little miss SJ Parker has such a tiny little ass on her, I found the pants run small. The same size I wear in all other stores were too tight for me in her line. But that's okay - I bought a size 16 skirt so I was happy about that.

So glad to be out of the sizes that start with 20... :)