Life is good!
I have passed the two year anniversary of my surgery and recently had my 2-year post-op appointment with my surgeon. I weighed the EXACT same amount as I did at my 1 year checkup. Which means I haven't gained one pound back in this past year.
My doctor fist-bumped me. :)
He said that's really rare because usually in that 2nd year there is a slight weight gain back as you adjust to being able to eat a little bit more - often 10 -15 lbs, which is usually okay as the patient is still a hell of a lot healthier than they were prior to surgery. But I was very pleased to have stayed at the same weight. I think the fact that I live in fear of gaining any weight, and I weigh myself weekly, has helped that.
I have leveled out at a size 4, sometimes a 2 depending on the brand/store. I wear a small or x-small top. I've always loved fashion, but being able to wear many different styles is one of my greatest joys. Hell, I couldn't even wear PANTS before my surgery.
I often think about how I'd like to help other post-op patients learn how to dress for their new bodies - I see so many of them in the doctor's office and they are still wearing the big loose mu-muu type clothing, which does nothing for their figures or to make them feel better about themselves. Most of these women have been heavy their whole lives so that's the only way they've ever dressed and they don't know any differently.
I feel really healthy - for the past two years since my surgery Rudy and I have been going to the beach every weekend, and I started out doing long walks on the beach, then faster walking, and for the past year or so I've been running on the beach every weekend. I don't go fast, and I only run/walk a few miles, but I'm out there doing it, and I love it.
I do wish I could make myself go back to the gym - I belong to Planet Fitness (world's best gym - non-intimidating, great people, only $10/month and no contracts!!) but haven't been in months. I do push-ups (the boy kind :)) every night before bed, which has kept my arms and shoulders in shape, but I do need to work out more. It'll happen. Probably. Maybe.
Just being able to be active again is amazing - actually WANTING to walk places, enjoying the outdoors, kayaking with Rudy, riding our bikes everywhere when we go on vacation...things others might have taken for granted but that were completely out of the question for me before.
Something I've found very interesting - and I would like to write more on this at some point - is people's reactions to slender people vs. heavy people. It's women, men, kids, professional colleagues, store clerks, restaurant servers, everyone. It's human nature, but it's also very sad.
I like this new show on FOX called "More to Love", which is produced much like the Bachelor, but with a big guy (he's 6'3", 330 lbs.) and heavy women (which apparently he's very attracted to). The women are all pretty attractive, just big girls. The one thing that makes me crazy is that they put the height and weight of each girl addressing the camera on the screen. They don't do that with the Bachelor contestants!! We get it - she's a heavy girl - do we need to further humiliate her by putting her 5'8", 239 lb. stats out there for the world to see?? Rudy hates this concept because he says these girls are going to be even more devastated than the girls on the Bachelor because many of them have been rejected by men for much of their life (as they are constantly saying to the camera) and now they are going to get their hopes up that they have a chance with this great guy and then be crushed. He's probably right, but I'm already hooked.
I'm so sensitive to the challenges of heavy people - the other day I saw a woman be seated at a booth in a restaurant and it was too tight for her - the table was pressing into her stomach - and she asked to be moved to a table. God, did that bring back memories of going into a restaurant and having to eyeball whether I could fit in a booth or if I needed to casually suggest a table. I felt so much for her that I got tears in my eyes. Or maybe I was feeling for the old me...
I've gotten to the point where people who meet me now have never seen me as a heavy person, so it's assumed that I've always been this size. I'm not one to hide it, so if weight naturally comes up in conversation (like I'm with a woman at lunch and she's saying that she's trying to diet) then I will share. But I do feel like this is who I am now, and I can't even remember being in that 300 lb. woman's shoes.
But I do know this - I am the same person as I was then - same sassy attitude, same sense of humor, same intelligence, same business savvy, same people skills. I'm just healthier and I look better in my clothes.
So there.
:)
